From Abby - Happy Greenie Grad ... Here's a greenie...
Heyyy
No idea where to start so i'm just going to start typing.
This morning I had a very delicious breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast and Orange juice so not a bad start to the morning. At 8:30 someone (hopefully) Is coming to fix the dryer which definitely broke once again (live laugh love)
I just finished reading my moms email titled "Dashing" Shes running off to work early this morning and still somehow managed to write me a plethora of her experiences this week. How early did you get up mom? :)
How grateful I am for her and her example of apt email writing. I'll try to live up to her as ever excellent standard.
Last Pday was probably the most fun monday I've had in the mission field (Besides the encroaching transfer news creeping into every thought) our district went for sushi all together at a place called Bangkok Wasabi? (Something like that) Sister Ortiz and I absolutely devoured our orange chicken and baked Salmon sushi rolles while conversing with our district about transfer news :) at the end of our meal the waitress says "Someone covered your entire check so you're good to go" CRIMINAL. I feel like it should be allegal to do something like that anonomously since thanks was very much due.. as well as a handshake.
I thought of my Sushi loving red head darling friend Nikkei, Isn't it wonderful that something completely random can remind you of someone you hold dear? I think so.
I was blessing my Dad since the zone decided they wanted to make pizza and I was the only one with a pizza recipe (Represent dad). Best believe it was chaotic with flour and dough and oil flying everywhere (Baking with elders i've concluded is equivalent to baking with toddlers) some of the pizza outcomes were questionable but what was important was the laughter and joy we felt during the process XD
I received many encouraging words from my district and zone hyping me up for training, its nice to be gathered around when you don't quite feel up to a task.
Tuesday this week I had the chance to participate in "train the trainers" I united with my beloved Sister Christiansen (Also...training out of training) and we had the chance to listen to the wise council of our President. The overarking message was that ITS ALL ABOUT LOVE. Loving your companion by service, having faith in them, encouraging them and also loving them enough to be an example and to strive every single day to be an obedient missionary. While I was at the mission office I picked up my Tiwi card (Driving privelages) Even though i'm 100% still on a bike, elder Mayo (old guy vehicle coordinator) gave me an entire speech about only biking in slacks and how biking in skirts is a hazard/modesty issue! I smiled and nodded but my wardrobe IS skirts so it was somewhat criminal (the exactly obedient part of me is screaming at me every time I bike in a skirt now)
Yes the day finally came. TRANSFERS.
the three other Sisters and I gathered in the sea of suits and ties (so many elders) as president said a kneeling prayer with all of us before we got the trainees. as we entered the room emmediatly looked to all of them sitting there fresh out of the MTC and probably equally nervous if not more. So weird being on the other side of the UOM draft only 3 months later. I literally remember October 16 sitting and looking at all the trainers wondering which one was going to be mine and NOW sitting and looking at all the TRAINEES?! wild.
The very first Trainee Sister Atwood goes up the CANADIAN. I had a feeling she would be my trainee and my inklings were correct. I gave her the biggest hug I could muster and In that moment became a trainer. Crazy.
It was strange saying goodbye to a couple people who have been completly a huge part of my life for the past 2.5 months. I squeezed Sister Heatons hand through a car window as she gave me some final words of encouragment and held so tight to Sister Ellis until we HAD to go. Definitely felt the tears begin as I of course thought of every good thing that has happened the last two transfers. The steady spirit led influence of the both of them and their love for missionary work. It feels unfair that I'll practically never see them now :(
I always try to return to the attitude that its so good to feel so sad because that means I was able to experience something amazing.
Sister Atwood and I somehow made it through unpacking, getting some starter groceries, starting to get to know eachother better and SOMEHOW occupy four hours in the evening of being out and about doing the lords work.
The amount of improv that has occured between me and what I think is missionary work is sickening. I feel like a single mom who works two jobs who loves her kid and never stops if you catch my drift :D
"And the remission of sins bringeth meekness, and lowliness of heart; and because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the Holy Ghost, which Comforter filleth with hope and perfect love, which love endureth by diligence unto prayer, until the end shall come, when all the saints shall dwell with God"
I bore my testimony of repentance to them, and promised that the holy ghost truly can fill us with comfort and perfect love, I felt the spirit strongly and knew that what I was saying was true. As brother budge said the closing prayer I felt overwhelming gratitude for the gospel of Jesus Christ, for the Holy ghost my comforter and friend, and for Jesus Christ's atoning sacrifice. that I can turn to him when I feel inadequit and forsake my sins with his help. Its SO GOOD to feel the spirit testify of truth. I'm grateful to have the holy ghost with me.
Other highlights this week include running into a homeschooled family and being reminded of my mom and siblings. We walked into the house mid day and it was so strange to see a bundle of kids just chilling. I cant believe that used to be me! The mom was the primary president and her kids had more insights than she did! It was cool to see them brainstorm and try to find people for us to go see :) I asked her what inspired her to homeschool and she said because her Kids love it which I thought was a pretty good reason since that was my moms.
This one lady pulled in while we were standing at her door so we walked up as she got out of the car and greeted her with sunshine and rainbows and were met with gloom and storm clouds "I grew up in the church and I'm done with all that brainwash. I've made my decision"
I can't believe people look at me, see my tag, and genuinly believe i'm completely brainwashed and insane.. anyways random thoughts.
We got home on Saturday to the AP's walking out of our apartment after a SUPRISE INSPECTION. They used to live in our apartment and we were able to joke about our fridge that is absolutely so loud XD they laughed at our bike lights and it was good to see them and talk about not knowing what we're doing EVER (Elder Gailey new to being AP me, new to training). Our apartment was very clean I'll have you know so no stress.
Sister Atwood and I are still getting used to each other but she's absolutely the cutest. We're able to laugh at our shortcomings and that's what I've been loving since neither of us have any clue what we're doing XD I couldn't tell you the amount of conversations we've had that has been this exact format:
member: "Where are you two from?"
Smith: "I'm from Edmonton Alberta.."
Atwood: "I'm from Cardston Alberta"
Member: "Wow TWO Canadians! Howd that happen XD did you two know each other before?"
Smith/Atwood "No shes 5 hours north (or south) of me"
Member:"How long have you two been out?"
Smith: "I've been out just over 3 months"
Member: "okay so you're still pretty green!! what about you?"
Atwood: "I've been out 4 days.."
ETC (I kid you not this same conversation.. 20 times.)
I think we'll grow to like eachother very much but we'll let time tell.
Right now I'm trying to tackle the old testimant (I think its going to be a mission long persuit) but I just got to Genisis 35-45 which is about Joseph and the coat of many colors (Technicolor dream coat? anyone?) anyways, so much more exciting now that I kind of know what's going on. As it is with anything I suppose. More on that later.
Sunday this week was something else. Three sacrament meetings, one second hour, one cancelled appointment, a cascade stake correlation meeting, a visited referral, a member meal, a youth broadcast and a late night member message. all with an average of 5 minutes of biking in between each event (Its not that long but it adds up, at least for me) AND the dense snowfall in the middle of that was crazy (And semi blinding) although every interaction was a spirit filled or good conversation I got home last night feeling 100% discouraged. Theres only so many times you can have a conversation about having no teaching pool, and only so long that you can be in a complete state of survival mode before you break down XD
Last night I attempted to journal the day but it mostly turned into a tear filled rant session.
Its hard to feel adequit as a missionary with no teaching pool. EVEN if you know that thats not how the success of a missionary is measured. Especially when other missionaries triumphs often involve a friend they're teaching. I think what wares on my mind more is the success of my trainee and wanting to be the best trainer.. not knowing how. I feel pretty discouraged recently and being positive is usually not hard for me but recently the survival mode exhaustion and feelings of enadequicy have been taking a TOLE on me
I know from Doctrine and covenants 121 that my adversity and affllictions shall be but a small moment but you still ask the question at times when it feels DARK (*Cough* me right now) "Oh God where art thou, and where is the pavillion that covereth thy hiding place?"
I also know from 2 Nephi 2 that "There must needs be an opposition in all things" and in that SAME chapter it states "Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy."
I also know that god has a Plan that my understanding CANNOT comprehend or even hope to understand.
In the story of Joseph in Genisis FIRST of all he's sold into Egypt by his brothers, and with gods help he becomes a man of great respect and good standing in Potiphers house "and the lord was with Joseph and he was a prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian" Genisis 39:2-4
He then of course resists the advances of potiphers wife and is falsely accused >for two years is in Prison (Which I could only assume was complete misery) and eventually because of god and his ability to interprate Pharoahs dream once again essentially becomes the ruler of Egypt and is only less than Pharoah.
When he sees his brothers again and reveals himself to them he comforts them in the midst of their guilt:
"Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: For god did send me before you to preseve life"
JOSEPH HAD AN ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE.
Genisis 45: 5-8 he understands and now sees why he had to be sold into engypt, and wrongfully accused and imprisoned for the purposes and works of good to be fulfilled.
I'm just at the part in the story where i'm rotting in prison and are lacking understanding but TRYING to trust in god and his plan.
I don't know if any of that makes sense
Anyways I am so very grateful for so many things, and truly I have the most wonderful life and a grand mission, and I have the knowledge that if I trust in god and have faith, repent, honour my covenants, keep my comandments and endure to the end all things shall be made right with god and Jesus Christ in the end.
I love you all!
Excuse typos!
-Sister Smith
From Mom - Dashing
Dear Abby,
I am up early this morning dashing off an email to you. I had an interesting day yesterday, To my recollection, I think it is the first time in my life I went to church alone. And it's not to say I was "lonely," because I actually like my own company, as weird as that sounds. I slept in a little because Dad left in the wee hours of the morning to go to Hinton. I was wishing I could go with him because it was the first Sunday where all the changes he made were happening and I wanted to be a support. But I also have my own responsibilities in Devon, so I'm always managing competing priorities. This is all to say, I didn't have my human alarm clock to wake me up, so I slept in and I got to church a little late. This is so funny to me because there was absolutely no one to make me late, except myself! So I walk in after the opening song and sit in one of the comfy foyer armchairs. Do you remember Sam Hawkins? (He's that super quirky guy that was baptized about 5 years ago ... we've had him over a few times.) He leans over and whispers, "I was too embarrassed to go in late because I had so much ice on my car this morning." And I whisper back, "Well, it's a better reason to be late than sleeping in!" And we shared a silent laugh and sat in companiable silence. I thought I would go in after the sacrament but it was so nice to sit with Sam that I stayed. I think it was the first time in my life I sat in the foyer for the whole meeting! It's a completely different side of church. The speakers were great and I listened to them all (Abraham Day is leaving on his mission to West Virginia), but I also loved witnessing the missionaries dash out to the parking lot to meet someone who was coming to church for the first time and the care to make sure that person was welcome and comforable. I loved watching the young moms taking their little ones to the bathroom and Kera the Devon Ward Ghost meander back and forth haunting the hallways. At one point, I received a text from Trish Adamkewisz, only to discover she was standing around the corner, haha. She always sends me doctrinal questions. Yesterday's was "Do we pray to Jesus?" My answer was, "No, we pray to Heavenly Father." She was happy to hear that because she believes in God, but her follow up was, "Then how do we have a relationship with Jesus and why is it important?" This is a good reminder that we are all on our own spiritual journeys and get knowledge at different times and in different ways. But it's a topic that is dear to my heart so I was happy to send her a response.
It was my turn to take care of the Relief Society meeting and because I sat in the foyer, I could dash to the doors first. I flipped on the lights and stood at the doorway hugging every woman that came. Yes, I've turned into that old lady that hugs people now and I'm okay with it. Honestly, I do really appreciate all the connections and relationships I have because of the church. Everyone there is fighting a battle and they come to be supported and lifted ... and to support and lift others! Every hug I gave was reciprocated. So much smiling and back patting. ... which continued into the lesson. Ariana Townsend was teaching for the first time and she was a bundle of nerves. (Another one who also dashed in late with her kids because of all the ice on her car. Freezing rain is my least favourite winter weather, which also makes me extremely grateful for our garage. Ah, luxury.) Basically, the crux of the lesson was that we are almost always responsible for making our own lives harder than they need to be, haha. And because we are so hard on ourselves, we need other people to have our backs. Inspired people. Covenant people. Heavenly people too! And Jesus, who is the ultimate back-coverer. I tipped my hat to Trish and she gave me a nod back.
Because I had no one with me, I felt completely comfortable to go see Rae and have an extended visit. Seriously, she is the cutest person on the planet and weathering her particular storm with grace and and patience. She almost died again and was super excited about it until she actually didn't die. At 94 she said, "I'm beginning to believe that heaven doesn't want me." To which I replied, "Oh, heaven wants you for sure! But maybe those of us here just don't want you to go."
Rae: "Well, hurry up and make your peace with it then!"
Me: "Maybe you're just too stubborn to die."
Rae: "It's true I like eating that black licorice. I'll miss that."
And we had a good laugh together. She has to endure so much indignity, I can't help but be inspired by her optimism. She always makes me open the bottom drawer in her hospital room where she keeps treats. Her and I share a love of Oh Henry's and she makes sure I take one if she doesn't win a bag of chips in Bingo. On my last visit before Christmas she said, "Jen, I won a bag of chips for you, but I couldn't help myself and ate it." I told her she could eat all the chips she wanted and to not worry about me. Anyway, I do love that old girl and I AM going to miss her when she goes. Cheryl Carlson let me know they will be away for three weeks. This means, I need to go see Rae as often as I can in the next little while.
After that, I went home to an absolutely silent and empty space. Dad is getting used to it by now, but it's a rarity when it happens to me. I liked it a lot. I think it would get old fast if it was a 24/7 thing but for yesterday, it was really nice. I ate, cleaned up a little, had a long phone conversation with Hayley Coleman, studied my scriptures, make an ambitious list for the week and hung out with Coco. Dad came home and was worn out from a very long day of service to the Hinton Branch, but everything turned out really well and he was content. He is a good, good man and the first and last gratitude of every day of my life. Our scratch dating card this week is geocaching, but I really would rather go shopping for a new duvet cover because ours is ripping. To be honest, we might be on the road to turning into that old couple that can't do anything without the other. I suppose we're not there quite yet, but I see this is where we're trending, and I'm not sad about it.
On Saturday, we went together on quite an adventure. Did I tell you I picked up a side gig? I was hired to help a 13-yr old figure out a homeschooling plan for herself for $30/hr plus gas money. An old acquaintance called me up in desperation. Her daughter refuses to go to school. She can't get her to do anything and the age-old fear of the mother having a basement-dweller was fast becoming a reality. I love it when I'm the last hope for someone, haha. So I met with Karli and she's super cute and we talked about the things we need to do to be happy. Later in the week the mom texted me with, "What did you do to get Karli to clean her room? And she's baking with me? You're cheaper than a psychologist with better results." So this is a funny thing to me. So yeah, I meet with Karli every few days and we are formulating a learning plan together that she will be motivated to do. I'm expecting this to last a few months at most, but it's kinda fun. So Dad dropped me off at my "job," (I need a good working title ... "learning consultant?" idk) then we went into Edmonton to Audrey's Bookstore downtown where we attended a book launch. It's called "By Strength We Are Still Here," and it's the first comprehensive history book writted about residential schools by an indigenous person. And she is also my prof (which is the only reason I knew about it). But what I like about it, is it's lack of victim mentality. It is traumatic, to be sure, but her approach is to acknowledge the hard stuff so we can move past it and I can get on board with that. There was a guest speaker, a Gwich'an elder named Agnes, who shared her residential school story. She said, "I don't want to dwell on the hard stuff, but I will say that I loved to learn and I couldn't get enough of it." She still ran away when she was 15 and lived on the land with her parents until she was 21. "When I think on it, I know quite a bit," she said. I loved listening to her. Afterwards we had a conversation about the healing power of stories, and it turns out she has a full binder of her people's legends that she is trying to figure out how to publish but she doesn't know where to start, how to get permission without breaking taboos, or how to organize them if she did. I wished I could help her do that! Also, Claira met us there because we were in her neck of the woods and it was fun to be together.
We also shopped for some groceries and delivered to Mia. She is levelling up in her program as she was bumped up to the advanced dance class. The girl is going to have a strong dancer's body by the time she's done! As long as she eats!
On our way home, we stopped at the Jeffrey's to drop a little gift of microwave popcorn to Joelle. It was her birthday and she is 26, if you can believe that! She was so cute with her big smile. She can't help but give us each a good hard pinch, haha, especially Dad. She did give me two kisses afterwards, so that was super cute, but we sang to her and she was smiling the whole time.
Not much else to report and I'll spare you the gory details of me barfing at the dentist's office, which was a weird thing for me. (Not sick!) Or Trump threatening to make Canada a 51st State. Or Justin Trudeau resigning as Prime Minister (his cabinet is falling apart). Or the adventures of freezing rain (have to take a couple runs up the driveway to get out). But I will say I loved walking into the temple to see Sam sitting there. All the worries of the world melt away in that space. It never ceases to amaze me. And I will mention that Steph intruduced me to Black-Strap Molasses and I love that too! She learned that 1 tbsp dissolved in hot water gives a person 20-25% of their daily intake of iron which also includes a bunch of trace minerals. It's actually delicious. Also, Dad picked me up a new lemon squeezer and I love that too! I have all the best warm drinks at my disposal right how and it makes me happy. I finally started Josh and Madison's wedding book. Right? Miracles do happen. The pictures! Love them! The only one I haven't heard from is Ben. Ben?! Are you reading this? Call your mother and give her an update!
Okay, and now I'm dashing off to work.
Love you to the moon and back. Actually, I woke up this morning to a full moon illuminating the entire world, so the analogy works. We had to actually shut our curtains in order to sleep, it was so bright outside.
Have a fabulous day and week! I'm excited to hear about your first week of training! I got a sneak-peak from a rando who sent me a picture with you and her family. Will all the people of Orem have my phone number by the time you're done your mission? I'm okay with that.
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